


Herbal Essences

by AccidentallyTheWholeFanfic



Category: Harvest Moon
Genre: Crack, Drug Trip, Humor, Other, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-25
Updated: 2012-06-25
Packaged: 2017-11-08 13:13:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/443555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AccidentallyTheWholeFanfic/pseuds/AccidentallyTheWholeFanfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nina loves plants. Nina loves plants so very dearly...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Herbal Essences

The fresh, feminine perfume of a dewy rose; the tantalizingly exotic fragrance of jasmine and irises, mingling together on the wind; the aroma of wisteria and mint...

For as far back as she could remember, Nina LaCuera had always been seduced by these scents - as well as the colorful sights of each in full bloom. How she loved to see ivy blanketing the mailbox, or lilies skirting the edges of an inviting lawn! How she enjoyed plucking a fresh sprig of mint and rubbing it gently between her fingers!

How she loved to pluck cheerfully-red berries from the bushes on the mountain and pop them between her soft lips, to rip up innocent basil leaves and stir them into a marinara sauce...

Yes, Nina did so very dearly love plants. She yearned every day for the time to come when she could finally tend an endless garden, always flush with beautiful and exciting new species of flora! To soak up the nourishing sun that they too subsisted on, to cause the clouds to tear and rain upon them with a sweep of her arm, their life and death held in her hands... ah, paradise...

Lina, her mother, had always taken this botanical interest with a supportive, yet cautious, hand. As such, there were things Nina was told to never, ever touch or consume, under any circumstances - dangerous things.  _Exciting_  things...

These warnings brought Nina to a large cave deep in the mountainside one October Saturday, searching out something her mother would no doubt disapprove of quite highly. Rumored to grow deep in the cave were fragrant, succulent herbs - rare herbs, at that. Curiously enough, though the people in the village were numerous, the existence of these herbs was still relegated to mere hearsay. Most were too lazy or possibly too forgetful to actually look on their own.

This troubled Nina little - if anything, at least it meant that those precious herbs were preserved especially for her! Grinning widely, her wicker basket clutched tightly in her delicate hands, she tottered further down the dark path, the shadows deepening into a blurry black fuzz as light's reach stretched only as far as it could... aha!

They were indeed beautiful - a gentle, almost feminine, cluster of curled leaves, surrounding a clustered center of tiny white flowers. They looked almost like jasmine, Nina decided, as she regarded the herbs with a quiet reverence. Trembling fingers plucked one of the beauties from the ground, noting the glossy feel of each flawless leaf - as if preserved and laminated especially for her arrival.

"Pretty." The word simply breathed from her lips, the smallest echo bouncing briefly off a rough wall and vanishing into the darkness forever.

With a swift motion, she tossed the herb into her mouth and chewed noisily, savoring the surprising moisture and strong taste, fire rushing through her veins as the chemicals began their immediate journey through her system. Ah, so hot! As she slid down a Pegasus rainbow, an ocean of candy flapped into view, beckoning her forward with its population of singing polar bears. They liked the cold!

Nina plunged through the cotton-candy waters into a teacup, where she was stirred around into a throbbing whirlpool by a malevolent flamingo. As she spiraled around into the distant galaxies, a purple whistling humming through her ears, she opened her mouth and released a flock of doves riding leprechauns. They appreciated it.

"The eve of your destiny is nigh!" hissed a snake that had slithered out of her ears.

Nina shook her head. "Eve's not here, man." And she plunged into Hell, landing with a small shriek on a giant mushroom. It began to gallop wild and free across the plains, a roaring whinny echoing through the halls. "Ah! Yes! Jack! Jack! Jack! Faster, Jack, faster!" Nina moaned, as she bucked and bounced with each thrust. "Do garden! Do garden forever! Please!"

_\------------------------_

"Please! Please!"

Nina was rubbing a mushroom furiously between her legs. Her skin grew redder and hotter... she was sweating profusely... what was happening?

"Please... stop... please!"

Panting heavily, Nina's heart burst, her trip now one-way.

As she ascended to her eternal garden, her earth-grown children all hers with which to forever frolic and cavort, her final sentiments rang throughout the cave forever:

"Nina had fun!"

**Author's Note:**

> I still can't recall why exactly I wrote this. Perhaps I never will.


End file.
